Wanted: Dead Or Alive
by cotedeperff
Summary: On NCIS we only got to see what happens to Tony after leaving Ziva in Israel. But what obstacles did Ziva have to face? And what happened after she was presumably killed in that fire? post 13x24
1. Chapter 1

September 2013

The Olive Garden, Be'er Sheva, Israel

Tony gently kissed her hand and Ziva looked deep into his eyes. Then she slipped out of his grip and framed his face with both her hands, pressing his forehead against hers. She closed her eyes and so did he.

'I'm fighting for you, Ziva,' Tony whispered.

'I know' she said, nearly soundless.

Tony held her in his arms for a long while, his hands slowly rubbing her back.

They opened their eyes and stared at each other for a few more seconds, like they always did. It's like their eyes spoke when words were failing. It's like a language only they could understand.

He leaned in and placed his lips on hers. It seemed like she hesitated, but eventually she opened her mouth for him and he kissed her passionately. Their kiss only lasted for a few seconds, because Ziva broke it off. She looked away and cleared her throat.

'I'm sorry Tony. Lets head back to the house.'

He saw that she was having a hard time with being so close to him, with letting herself go. So he didn't argue with her. 'Sure, let's go.'

They walked back together with their hands nearly touching each other, but not quite.

*God why do things have to be so complicated between us?* Tony thought, *Why can't we just live in the moment.*

He interlocked his fingers with hers like they did before they got in that car crash a couple of months earlier. They didn't talk, they both didn't want to interrupt this moment or make it awkward again.

The way back seemed to take at least twice as long as getting to the Garden had seemed.

Finally, they got to the farmhouse and entered. Tony let himself fall onto the couch, but Ziva was standing still in the doorway with her arms crossed in front of her chest. She stared at him for a few seconds before speaking up.

'Do you want something to drink? Coffee? Tea maybe?'

'Coffee would be great.'

Ziva disappeared into the kitchen, leaving Tony to look around him. He then noticed the many pictures on the wall and went to look at them. They were pictures of her with her siblings and a wedding picture of her parents. Her lost family.

Minutes later, Ziva walked back into the living room, holding two cups of coffee. By then, Tony was back on the couch. She put his cup on a small table and then took a seat on the couch. She was on his left and not very close to him. She held on to her cup of coffee as if she was warming herself up, all though it was 36 degrees inside and even hotter outside. They sat in silence for a few minutes, but it felt like hours. Her eyes wandered to the pictures on the wall. He saw tears welling up in her eyes and felt a pang of the grief she felt. Of course he had lost his mother and somewhat knew what she was feeling, but there was still a big difference between losing one member of your family and losing your entire family. It was even worse if your entire family had been killed. And the fact that she was responsible for one of those deaths must have been unbearable for her.

Then, the tough Ziva they had both been used to dissapeared for just a moment and a few tears rolled down her cheeks withour her producing a sound. She didn't even bother to wipe them away before he saw it.

He took her cup out of her hands, placed it on the table next to his and sat closer to her as she looked at him for the first time since they were in the Olive Garden. He put his left arm around her shoulders and used his free hand to wipe her tears away for her, first quickly and then he slowed down on the last tear. He traced it's path down her face and his fingers lingered on her lips. All the while, she kept her eyes locked with his, and a certain longing appeard in them, a longing he knew all to well. He moved the hand that was around her shoulder to the back of her head and framed her face with the other one. He pulled her face closer, their noses touching. She didn't hesitate as she closed the gap. She pressed her mouth hard on his while her tongue roughly scraped his and then she proceeded to push his jacket off his shoulders. He let her push of the jacket, but he bit her tongue, first softly and then slightly harder as she didn't slow down. She then got the message and gently stroked his palate. This gave him a feeling of power over her, and it gave her a feeling that a man could finally handle her. He had made up his mind about how this was going to go. He broke off the kiss, even though she clearly wasn't done yet. She smiled because she knew what he was doing. He was teasing her. This was going to be interesting.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N

Thank you for your amazing support. I have been completely blown away by the response this story has been getting so far.

Here is chapter two, this chapter is rated M.

Please enjoy reading.

Chapter two

September 2013

The Farmhouse, Be'er Sheva, Israel

He leaned in again, but stopped just before their lips touched and proceeded to kiss the side of her neck, just under her jaw line. She slightly tilted her head to make it easier for him. He stopped only to take her sweater off, leaving her in her bra.

He gently pushed her back so that she was lying on the couch and her head was resting on the armrest. He pulled off her pants so she was only in her underwear. He crept forward and she wrapped her legs around his waist. They were crotch to crotch. He then slowly took off his shirt as she watched him, playing fully biting her lip. He threw his shirt across the room and smiled as she started to unzip his pants, then stopped her by softly grabbing her wrists and keeping them against the armrest, next to her head. He placed a kiss on the hem of her underwear, only to move away from where she wanted him to be. He placed small kisses on her belly and then traced her body all the way back up to her neck with his tongue.

She felt a heat rise up, from her toes all the way to her head. Something in her wanted to lead, wanted to be in control. But another part of her wanted him to do this to her, to make her hot, only to stop and start over again.

He now hovered over her face with his face and flashed his famous smile. She gave a naughty smile in return and pulled him closer with her legs. She quickly leaned forward before he could back away, just able to bite his lower lip. She pulled at it and he gave in by kissing her again. She freed her hands from his grip and wrap on arm around him. She used her other hand to completely unzip his pants and used her feet to push his pants off, then wrapped her legs back around him.

She smiled while they were kissing when she felt something push hard against her crotch. And this time, his knees weren't even closeby...

Suddenly, she pushed her hands against his chest and pulled her legs out from under him. He fell on his side, against the back of the couch. She stood up and walked towards her room, stopped in the doorway, beckoned him to follow her and disappeared into the dark bedroom.

He had had his fun, now it was her turn.

He didn't know how quickly to get up and in the process he fell from the couch, then clumsily scrambled to his feet and trotted after her, into the room. When he got there, he couldn't see anything, but he heard a rustling sound. Then Ziva turned on a dim light and the only thing he could see, was her lying on the bed. Naked.

She was leaning on her elbows and had her legs crossed.

He swiftly took of his underwear and approached the bed, but stopped as she got on her knees and crept towards him over the bed. She grabbed him by his shoulders, got off the bed and pinned him against the wall. She kissed him and then nibbled his ear. He ran his hands through her hair and she spread her legs, standing on the tip of her toes and pushing down on his shoulders with her hands to keep her balance. She kept her head next to his for a small while. Her breath was hot against his ear and neck.

He was starting to wonder if she was having second thoughts, but then, out of nowhere, she slammed her crotch down on his erection. He let out a sigh, both out of surprise and out of pleasure. She wrapped one leg around him, pulled him in deeper and then backed up a little. She was just about to slam down again, when he turned around and switched their positions.

He was holding her up by her waist, against the wall. Her leg was still wrapped around him. He lowered her down so that he was completely entering her again and pushed her back up. She let out a soft moan, which excited him even more and so he did the same thing over and over again. Her moans grew louder and louder, until she was practically screaming. Sweat was dripping down their forheads and body's. Ziva's hair stuck to her neck.

They were both close to finishing. Ziva pushed herself off the wall with her free leg and Tony stumbled backwards, tripped and landed on the bed, dragging her with him. She landed on top of him, pushing him in as far as possible. She screamed a final time and he gasped. She felt a warm fluid shoot up her uterus, but she didn't mind it. She was pretty sure she had taken her pill that day. She planted a small kiss on his lips and let herself fall next to him.

'Wow,' he sighed.

She chuckled. 'You weren't bad either.'

And then they lay in silence, side by side, heavily panting.


	3. Chapter 3

**Thank you, for all the support we have been getting. You guys Rock!**

 **Note: Most of us are from The Netherlands so English in not our native language. But we try our best. And we just hope that you will enjoy our story. Sorry for the delay but we had exams and we are hoping the update more often once we are on a break.**

 **This chapter is rated M**

Chapter 3

Be'er Sheva Israel

There, laying in Tony's arms, Ziva felt totally relaxed. She felt suddenly so happy. For a moment not thinking about Tali, Ari, her father or everything that had happened in the past few weeks. Overwhelmed by this feeling she snuggled her nose into Tony's shoulder, feeling his body heat and hearing him still slightly pant. Carefully he wrapped an arm around her, making her feel even more save.

"You know what I really could use right now?" He joked at her.

She grinned. "Getting shaved? My little hairy butt.

You'll never get five points this way" Tony looked down at her, catching her cocky gaze. God he loved this woman so much! He started slowly tickling her back,  
concentrated watching her reactions. A little squeak escaped Ziva's mouth and she slightly closed her eyes, enjoying the feeling of his hands. Which felt so good on her.  
He shivered when he felt her hand moving up and down his chest. What he could, she could do too. When he looked down she smiled devilish at him, before she moved slowly closer to him and let her teeth run down his chest, sending goose bumps up his spine. When she moved upward he couldn't stop himself any longer and pulled her in for a passionate kiss. Their tongs were fighting for control and Ziva moved her hands playfully through Tony's hair, driving him crazy. He felt his erection against her pussy, already rock hard again. And Ziva wasn't making things easier for him this way. Suddenly she pulled his head back by gripping his hair.

He squirmed, "Easy tiger!" He growled.

She just grinned at him and loosened her grip. "Your butt isn't the only thing that needs to get shaved" She teased him.

"You think?" He asked, running his hand through his slowly appearing beard. "I thought it made me look sexy and rough. Like Jack Sparrow" He joked.

"You definitely don't look like him" Ziva convinced Tony.

"And I wouldn't enjoy this so much with him" she continued, pulling him slowly in for another kiss. When Ziva let him go Tony pouted at her.

"So you don't like my rough look?" Ziva rolled her eyes.

"Well I didn't took my razor with me when I left to go find you. Would you mind helping me a little with shaving by at least telling me how, Miss David?" Tony teased her. Just as she wanted to tell him he wasn't James Bond and she wasn't going to shave him Ziva got second thoughts. She grinned at Tony with barely hidden pleasure, then stood up, pulling him with her.

"Yeah I'd love to!" She told him with a defiant voice, then headed to the bathroom.

Just as she wanted to tell him he wasn't James Bond and she wasn't going to shave him Ziva got second thoughts. She grinned at Tony with hidden pleasure, then reached her hand under the pillow where Tony had laid down his head and took a knife from there. She stood up pulling him with her.

"Yeah I'd love to help you!" She told him with a defiant voice.

Tony looked at the knife and then to Ziva's dangerous looking eyes, not sure whether he should be frightened or excited by this sight. But Ziva didn't gave him time to make up his mind. She grinned at him, stroked her finger along the blade of the knife, and gripped his hairy chin, taking him with her to the bathroom. Tripping over his own feet. Tony strummed after her. He still wasn't sure what she was up to but started to understand.

By the door Ziva released his chin and walked to the sink to put the warm water on. She stood there backing him, her dark, curly hair falling down her shoulders. And it hit Tony how stunningly beautiful she was, even from behind. Slowly she turned around, playing with the knife between her forefingers. Observing Tony with her dark, desiring yet dangerous looking eyes, sending goose bumps over his whole body.

"You're ready to get shaved?" She asked him with squeezed eyes, pulling of a devilish grin while biting her lower lip.

He hesitated but she already sneaked up behind him and leaded him to the sink. There she took a piece of olive soap, pulled it into the warm water and started putting soap all over Tony's beard. She slowly rubbed it on his face, moving in little circles with her fingers.

He tried to relax but she turned him totally on by rubbing his chin bones. Then she took his hands and circled them over his cheeks till he took over and moved his own hands. But just as he got lost in the movement he felt something sharp and cold tracing along his neck and shoulder.

A gasp escaped his lips. "Ziva!" He gasped almost whispering.

"You know your neck needs to get shaved too... My little hairy butt" she whispered into his right ear.

He felt her hot breath in his neck and a little love bite on the right side of it, before she traced the whole way along his back with her tongue, to his left ear. She had put her arms around his shoulders and nibbled on his ear. Finally Tony relaxed and spun his head to face her. Her sparkling eyes looked teasing at him, he loved those eyes so much, he just couldn't resist them and presses his lips on hers. He felt her tongue with a quick pace moving through his mouth and her right hand, still holding her knife, stroked up and down his right side.

Tony's urge to be inside her became bigger and bigger, but Ziva didn't gave him what he wanted, she had way too much fun teasing him like this. She pulled out and grinned at him.

"You do realize I'm still going to shave you right?" She moved behind him again and played with the knife right before his eyes.

"Don't worry I won't hurt you... If everything goes right" she grinned. Then he felt her knife scraping down his neck, she put some more soap on his face and went on shaving him.

Tony scolded in silence, convinced Ziva would cut him. But totally against his  
expectation she was very talented, she didn't cut him a single time.

"You've done this before didn't you?" he laughed. Thinking about how she did scare him by making him question her intention with the knife, and them with suddenly starting to shave him, he felt stupid.

"Nope you're my first." She interrupted his thoughts. "Oh and I'm sure your butt needs to get shaved too." She said boldly.

"So you're the type that not only likes to hang up her man's clothes but also likes to shave her man." Tony smiled, trying to avoid the talking about his butt.

"Very funny, my hairy butt!" Ziva let him know she did not forget about it that fast. When she saw his stuffy gaze she started laughing. "Don't worry my little hairy butt, I like that on you. And I really wouldn't want to shave my vagina so yeah."

Tony laughed about how she just said that. "I wouldn't want you to sweetcheeks. You're already perfect, just like you are." He flashed a DiNozzo smile at her and she looked down, blushing a little.

" I love you" she whispered, catching his gaze again. With her chocolate brown eyes burning in his, Tony felt an explosion of butterflies in his stomach. The love he felt was too strong to control. He stepped forward, picked Ziva off the ground and pulled her in for a passionate kiss. In complete surrender she wrapped her arms around him and put her legs around his waist. Tony pushed her up against the wall and pulled out for a moment.

"You sure you want to do this again?" He asked.

She smiled at him. "Let's first take a shower. Your face is still full of soap." She answered, giving him a little kiss on the top of his nose.

Tony smiled, realizing the soap was all over Ziva's face too now. As she hold him tighter he carried her to the shower and turned it on. It was so warm in the bathroom that he didn't mind waiting till the water warmed up. He just stepped into the shower, still carrying Ziva. A little squeak escaped Ziva's mouth as she suddenly felt the cold water on her hot body. With a huge smile crossing her face she looked into Tony's eyes. Refusing to let go of him, holding on to his body heat  
till the shower warmed up. When she finally let him go he wiped some strands wet hair out of her face. Her smile became even bigger and she pulled him closer by stroking her hands up and down his back. She felt so happy with Tony, she really trusted him. Something she had not done in years. Sure, she trusted Gibbs, McGee, Jimmy... She trusted the whole team. But not like this. She would let Tony do everything to her right now. He kissed her forehead as she gripped his shoulders and pressed her body tighter to his. Tony felt his erection becoming more and more  
painful with her so close to him. But now she finally allowed him and he pressed his whole length into her. Ziva moaned loud into Tony's ear as he suddenly filled her. But she'd been already soaking wet and her urge to have him inside her had been  
unbearable. Tony picked her up again and pressed her closer to him. She relaxed into his arms but couldn't stop herself from screaming as he suddenly hit a spot inside her she'd never felt before.

"What was that?!" She panted as she looked Tony in his eyes again.

"You like it?" He grinned, circling his top over her sensitive spot, which made her scream out in pleasure again. Ziva's whole body trembled as he locked eyes with her.

"God, Tony!" Was all she could say between her heavily panting.

"Don't think I'm done with you." He grinned. Gripping her thigh bones and pressing even harder into her made Ziva scream out his name. She convulsed around him as he set all her nerves on fire.

"Please Tony, don't stop!" She begged him. The water kept on falling down on them but neither of them cared anymore. Tony pressed Ziva up against the wall. He started to move slowly inside her, but quickly increased his pace. Ziva screamed bloody murder as her body clenched around him. She had lost all her control. Tony had to hold her up against the wall cause she was shaking and panted too heavily to stand by herself.

As she started to get some control over her breathing again, Ziva dragged herself into Tony's arms. "Wow." She breathed out.

Tony kissed her fore head, which was wet from the shower and her own sweat. As Tony started to pull out Ziva's body jerked again as response to the movement inside her. She softly squalled as she was already on the edge again. Tony grinned and he trusted shapely back into her. She couldn't stop screaming as he pressed a finger on her clit, increasing intensity. A last sharp thrust into her drove her over the edge.

Uncontrollably spasming and clenching she came around him. Screaming in pleasure as she finally felt some release. Tony felt her inner walls tighten around his cock as he came too, heavily panting for the seconds he'd forget to breath. With Ziva collapsed in his arms he finally pulled out. As she was able to stood by herself again and her breath slowed to a more regular rhythm she pulled Tony in for a deep kiss. Ziva's tongue rough moving through his mouth made Tony feel he still wasn't done yet. He stroked his finger over her clit, and increased the pressure as she didn't slow down. She loudly moaned into his mouth as her body shivered by his sudden touch.  
Tony pulled out and slowly licked his way down her body to her pussy. A surprised squeak escaped Ziva's mouth as she suddenly felt Tony burry his tongue as deep inside her as possible.

This only made him go faster. He started rolling his tongue inside her and moved circles on her clit with his thumb.

Ziva screamed and threw her head backwards with her eyes closed. The only thing she could do was grabbing Tony's hair and pulling him closer to her. He had set her on fire and the feeling drove her crazy. Ziva couldn't stop shaking but Tony could tell she was in heaven as he pulled out and looked at her closed eyes and blissful smile. Her eyes and her mouth opened wide in a silent scream as Tony suddenly inserted two fingers into her. Whatever he had been doing with his tongue made this burn as hell. Ziva screamed out in pure pleasure as he hit her spot again. By pulling his fingers wide and pressing against her inner walls, he made her go over the edge again. _Spasming_ , convulsing and gasping for air she got dizzy from the intensity. Tony had to get up quickly to catch Ziva as she collapsed forward into his arms. Holding each other in completely surrender they stood there, the water still pouring down on them. Caught by the moment. Their moment.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N thank you for the lovely support. We are on summer break right now which means we have more time to write. We are a group of four girls. My name is Danique, and I usually update the fanfic and write the A/N. But this is the very first time I wrote a full chapter.**

 **I changed the rating to M because of the previews two chapters. Enjoy reading!**

 **Chapter 4**

 **The next day,**

 **Be'er Sheva Israel,**

It's in the afternoon when Ziva was standing in her kitchen making herself and Tony lunch . She putted the kettle on stove that was in front of her.

Tony walked in the kitchen fully dressed and now shaven and clean, holding his bag in his right hand. Ziva looked at him and a tear slipped down her cheek. She knows it's time for him to leave.

"Are you going home?" she asked him, while her voice cracks. When he came here five days ago she didn't want to see him she wanted to move on. But now she didn't want him to leave. Why does he have to confuse her heart like this? Why does everything got to be so complicated with him.

"Yes Gibbs called this morning wanting me to come back" he answered. "You sure you don't want to come home with me?, "You could you know stay at my place, we could buy a bigger bed and…" he said

"Tony I have to do this on my own" she said while more tears were making its way down her cheeks. Tony moved closer and putted his left arm around her middle. He leaned over and whispered into her ear 'I'm going to miss you sweetcheeks" he dropped his bag to the ground and putted his other arm around her middle too. They stood like that for several seconds but it felt like hours.

He moved his right hand to her face and wiped the tears away. He didn't want to see her cry. He didn't want to leave her like this either, but Gibbs orders, and she didn't want to go home with him. He passionately kissed her on her lips. His tong entered her mouth and they were now moving around each other. He needed this, he needed her. he didn't knew what he was going to do when he got back from Israel. It wasn't going to be easy. But nobody ever said that life was easy. But life never delivers something we can't handle.

The kiss ended and she looked him in the eye. She saw that he was having a hard time too."When does your flight leave?" she asked him. But a part of her didn't want to hear the answer. She just wanted him close, she wanted to feel his embrace.

"Tonight at nine pm" he answered. They had a few more hours together and he was going to spend every second with her. he wasn't going to let her out of his sight. He kissed her forehead.

She felt his soft lips on her skin. "okay" she answered. Their interment moment was under broken by the noise of the kettle that Ziva had put on the stove earlier. "I guess the tea is ready" she said and a slight smile appeared on her face.

A few minutes later they were sitting across from each other at the table that was in the living room. Tony looked around the room for the millionth time since he got here. This was the house that she was born in. It was quite simple she didn't have a TV, but he didn't expect her to have one.

"What are you looking at?" she asked with a concerned voice. Was something wrong? If it was he would say it right?

"No nothing is wrong I'm just looking at the living room, it just looks really beautiful" he answered and smiled at her "You know Ziva this bread is absolutely delicious, where did you bought this?" he asked her, trying to make things easier for them. Not that anything ever was easy between them.

After lunch Ziva excused herself for a minute saying she needed to use the bathroom. As she walked over to the bathroom she passed the bedroom, the door was open and she saw that his coat was lying on her bed. She moved over and grabbed it with her right hand. And brought it to her face. It smelled like him. How can she live without him? And how can he live without her? She put the coat down and moved to the nightstand next to the bed. She opened the top drawer to grabed her necklace. He had spend four months searching for her and when he finally found her she told him she wanted to start over, alone. She had killed to many people, and she just wanted to be a good person, for once in her life. She grabbed the necklace with her right hand and walked over to his coat and put her necklace in his pocket. He deserved to have it. he deserved to have a part of her, and maybe it will comfort him. Whenever he feels lonely or sad. After all he gave her this necklace when she came back from Somalia, because Saleem had taken her other one.

After a trip to the bathroom and the bedroom she headed back to the kitchen to find him doing the dishes."Hey where were you?" he asked " I went to the bathroom like I said" she replied. At her tone Tony could hear she did not want to talk about it. There was such a huge difference. Last night they had made love and now they were back at the old self.

 **Ben-Gurion Airport** **Tel Aviv Israel**

The ride to the airport took a little bit longer than she expected. The car ride was filled with silence between them. They both didn't want to say anything, not wanting to ruin this moment between them. That had happened more often than that they were willing to admit.

They didn't spoke to each other until they were at the terminal. "Still time for you to change your mind" he said. He knew that she wasn't going to change her mind but he said it anyway. He saw that she was looking away. "What am I going to tell people? "

"That you were right I have to start over" she told him. In that moment she really didn't want to talk about it anymore but she knew she had to. She had to talk about it one last time.

"Okay you and I both know that's not going to be enough for Abby" he said. She looked up at him. She needed an answer but she really didn't have one. it's just better if he and Abby don't know the truth.

"Tell her that I am honoring Gibbs" she told him. "Gibbs" he questioned. That was the last person had thought of. He thought she would say his name.

The tears kept falling down her face. She couldn't stop them. In that moment she realized that things are not going to be easy, but after a few months she will most likely be fine. She will move on.

"Tony you are so?" Ziva said but was interrupted by Tony

"…handsome? funny? What?" He asked.

"Loved" she told him. He moved closer and grabbed her face. They kissed each other passionately their tongues were moving around each other. They both didn't want to let go of each other. They both want more ,but that is not how it works. That is not how life works for Tony and Ziva.

They finally let go of each other. As he walked away from her, he said "Hardest 180 of my life"

Why didn't she told him "I love you" instead of "loved" because she really did love him. That is another regret that she will carry with her for the rest of her life. She watched him walk up the stairs and gave him one last smile. When he entered the plane she broke down. There were more tears making its way down her cheek. She couldn't stop crying. The men she loved the most just left. And she, well she just needed to move on.


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Thank you for your support we really appreciate it. sorry for the delay, I was on a holiday and did not have any WIFI. My apologies for the mistakes. English isn't my native language. I try my best. Enjoy!**

 **Chapter 4**

 **October 2013**

 **Be'er Sheva Israel,**

Ziva returned home from the airport. The house felt so empty, he wasn't there, anymore. And the strangest part was that it had never felt this empty before. She looked around the room, what to do next? She dropped her jacket, on the sideboard. Cleaning maybe? Taking a shower? But in the end she does none of these things, she just slips in bed. The bed she had shared with the men she loved the most, for the past five days. The other side of the bed felt cold, and she was pretty sure that it wasn't going to change, any time soon. She did not need a man, not anymore. She closed her eyes and drifted off in an un restful sleep.

Getting out of bed the next day was a disaster. She could still feel his arms around her and his scent was everywhere. She was incredibly tired, she had barely slept, all she could think about was him. How was he doing?

xxxxxx

Beautiful days passed. It still wasn't easy to get out of bed. She was constantly tired and sometimes even nauseas. Every morning she would run. Faster and further each day. She didn't want to think about him anymore. He was in DC and most likely he had moved on. She wanted to forget him, forget what had happened. But trying to forget someone is awful. It only made her think about him even more.

xxxxxx

It was almost six weeks ago since he left her on the tarmac. Things were just getting better. She was sitting at her dining table, with a note pate in front of her, and a pencil in her hand. She was making a list of things she needed to buy for this week. Vegetables, fruit, bread, lemonade, eggs, milk, and she could go on and on. Tampons maybe? She didn't know if she had enough, so she stood up, and walked to the bathroom. She opened the drawer underneath the sink. She looked at the tampons, in a still closed box. In that moment she realized that she was late, very late. There could be many reason why she was late. She wasn't really taking good care of herself in the first place, after tony left. She barely ate.

She couldn't be pregnant. She was on birth control. She had taken her pill every day, or so she thought. But she could of easily forgot to take it, while he was here. Her mind was pretty distracted when he was around.

Ziva walked back to the her dining table, she sat down on the chair. She will just get a test and it will be negative.

Xxxxxx

The next morning Ziva stood in her bathroom, impatiently waiting. She had bought the test the previous day, but waited. The test said it will provide the best results in the morning. She had barely slept last night. Thinking that there could possibly be a child growing inside of her. As a little girl she dreamed about having a family, being a mother. That's why she wrote it on her I will list, and buried it ,when she was younger. But after she joined Mossad she didn't think she would ever become a mother. Her job was to important to her and not to mention dangerous. And then after Somalia when the doctors told her that there was a chance she might never get pregnant.

She looked at her watch, and the minute had not passed. Did time always move this slowly. Ziva sat down next to the sink, holding the test in one hand. Had she done the test right? Of course she did. She had read the instructions a thousand times since she bought the test, the previous day. She looked at her watch again and finally the minute had passed. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. She opened her eyes again and looked at the test, that she was holding in her hand. It said positive. No it couldn't be, this doesn't happen to people like her. she closed her eyes and opened them again. Maybe this was just a bad dream. But every time she looked at the test it said positive. She is pregnant. There is a child growing inside of her. tears made their way down her cheeks, into her hairline. Was she actually going to keep the child, that was growing inside of her? Of course she was keeping her child. She and Tony created a baby together. She splashed some water on her face. And more tears were making its way down her cheeks. Her legs were weak. And she was shaking. She fell on the bathmat and couldn't stop the tears from falling down. She is going to be a mother an Ima. Something she never thought she would be.

Xxxxxx

She stood up and walked to the kitchen. Still holding the white stick in her hand. She sat down at the chair next to the dining table. She grabbed her phone and her thumb moved over the buttons. Should she call him? They haven't spoken to each other in six weeks. He hadn't called her, or texted her. But that was exactly what she wanted. Her finger's where still moving over the numbers. Number two, the shortcut for his number.

Eventually she decided not to call him. he was back in DC doing what he loved the most. She was sure, if she would call him and tell him she is pregnant, he would be on the next flight to Tel- Aviv. And she doesn't want him to give up his life, his work just for her. she doesn't deserve him. And so she puts her phone away, she can always call him later, if she wants to.


End file.
